


Long After You´re Gone

by Noducksinpond



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drug Abuse Mention, F/M, Season/Series 02, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 10:46:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5124632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noducksinpond/pseuds/Noducksinpond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She´s gone. He repeats that, like a mantra over and over, he´s not entirely sure for how long. There aren´t any sounds except his slow breathing, as he breathes in and out. But then he hears the click of the lock, and he moves quickly to grab the gun from the bedside table</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long After You´re Gone

**Author's Note:**

> So I marathoned this entire show, so I was caught up in time for the finale, and fell in love with both this show and sethkate, thus have a fic.

Kate must have gone out, after Seth had shot up. In the two weeks since he´d first gotten hold of the heroin, she´d done that practically every time. But there was something different this time, something that had Seth more worried, than he would like to admit, even to himself. She was always back, when he came back to himself. She usually gave him an icy look, and told him she´d gotten them dinner. Trying to ignore the fact, he´d just been high while silently judging him. But there was no trace of her tonight, he was sitting alone in the dimly lit motel room. _She´s gone_.

They had been arguing before she left. Not for the first time, far from the first time over the last 3 weeks since they left the Twister behind. In fact, she had gotten better at arguing with him over time. In the beginning, she had listened to him. But as it became clearer to him, that Richie´s ghost kept following him wherever they went, she´d realized it too. That he didn´t have this even somewhat handled. She had been beyond fucking pissed at him, when he´d shot up earlier tonight. _She´s gone,_ he told himself. _Probably stolen the goddamn corvette too._

But she wouldn´t just leave would she? She needed his help, she wouldn´t make it on her own. _Yeah, because she really needs the help of a pathetic heroin junkie, who can barely rob a fucking convenience store on his own, doesn´t she?_ Maybe, he should leave the room and check if the corvette was still there, or just check how many of her things were still here. But he still felt that heaviness in his head, that made it too hard to even get off the bed. _She´s gone. It´s probably better for her too._

He repeats that, like a mantra over and over, he´s not entirely sure how long. There aren´t any sounds except his slow breathing, as he breathes in and out. But then he hears the click of the lock, and he moves quickly to grab the gun from the bedside table. The door is slowly pushed open, and he tries not to sigh with relief as he sees her. “You high?” she asks, unshaken. It´s not a question she should have to ask, if he was, he couldn´t have grabbed the gun.

“No,” Seth replies, in the same dry, meaningless tone. It´s a defence mechanism. He can´t let her see, how worried he was about her. He doesn´t fucking want to let her see it. He knows he is already depending on her, and eventually that´s going to make him fuck up spectacularly. Because he won´t be thinking clear, if he feels like he needs her, needs to keep her safe, they´re both screwed. Kate drops a bag on the small creaky table, and heads to the bathroom.

-

 _All Seth feels, as he sees Kate´s limb body fall to the ground, neck practically torn apart, is fear. He can´t see her killer, her killer doesn´t matter, all that matters is her. The killer is already gone, and he knows he should question how. “Kate!” he crosses the distance between them in what seems like one long stride. He kneels beside her and pulls her up a little from the ground, cradles her against him. There´s so much blood, it´s fucking dizzying. Because it´s all her blood, because she´s dying and there´s nothing he can do about it._ Shit, shit, shit! _“Kate, please-“ he hears his own voice crack with a sob._

 _“S-“ she tries desperately, and her face contorts in pain with the effort. He brushes his hand along her cheekbone, trying to soothe her, calm down or whatever._ This is all my fault. How the hell could I do this to her?

_“Shh, no talking okay?” Seth practically begs her. It´s the first time, he´s ever begged for anything in a very long while. Talking was only going to make her more tired, only going to make her more fucking exhausted and less likely to survive. “I´m going to get you out of here. You´re gonna be okay, Katie. Promise.”_

_She has a bloody hand buried in his jacket, but he can barely feel it. Her touch is barely there, almost like she´s already a memory. He wants to pick her up, get her to the car, find a goddamn hospital. But she is bleeding so much, and he already knows it won´t help. “Kate, please,” and he can barely recognize the desperation in his own voice. She tries to smile at him, but it comes across as nothing more than a grimace of pain. It´s the last thing, she does, before her eyes flutter shut._ She´s gone, _he thinks between his sobs as he clings to her._ She´s gone and it´s all my fault. _It repeats itself inside his head._ She´s gone, and I got her killed. She´s gone. She´s-

“Seth!” her voice is jarring, as he wakes up in the motel room. She manages to keep him down, and avoid one of his flailing arms smacking her in the face. _I got her killed! I got her killed!_ “Seth, I´m here. It´s okay. It´s okay. It was just a nightmare.”

Then it dawns on him, that it´s Kate. The real Kate, the very much alive Kate Fuller sitting on the edge of his bed, trying to calm him down, and he might actually let out a sob of relief. Kate doesn´t appear to notice, and he´s grateful for that. “Kate-“ he whispers her name, almost like he can´t believe she´s really there, and not a bloody corpse on the ground. Which pretty fucking accurately describes how he feels, if he´s honest.

“It´s okay,” she promises him again, as he pushes himself up into a sitting position. Then he surprises both himself and her, as he pulls her into a tight hug. It´s not something they´ve done before in their 2 months in Mexico. Neither of them likes being too close to the other. But it´s what he needs right now, he needs to cling onto her, and be reassured that she´s alive, and she´s not going anywhere. Kate seems a little taken aback, but quickly wraps her arms around him too, and lets one hand run against the hair on the back of his head, moving slowly, up and down.

-

“Seth,” her voice is a faint echo through his haze. But when has it ever fucking not been, after he´s shot up?Her voice feels even more like an echo now, even a ghost. He knows why. _She´s gone. I kicked her out. She´s not fucking coming back._ “Can you hear me, Seth?” she asks softly.

He opens his eyes ever so slightly, and there she is. Kate is just standing there, like she´s never gone anywhere. Maybe she hasn´t. Maybe the job, the Regulator and leaving her the money and the car was the bad dream. She walks over to the bed, warm comforting smile on her face, and sits down next to him. _This isn´t her._ He reminds himself. But Kate cups his cheek with one soft hand, and he feels a foreign warmth in his chest, and he doesn´t believe his own thoughts anymore. _She has to be real._ She softly brushes her hand across his cheekbone. “Look at you,” she says quietly. “You´re a mess.”

“What are you doing here?” he asks her, aware that he´s probably gawking at her, with complete fucking doe eyes. But he doesn´t care. Doesn´t give a shit. _Kate hadn´t listened, she´d come back._ _Against all logic and probable sense, she´d come back._

“I couldn´t leave you,” she replied, and he believes her with every fibre of himself. He can´t see anything but her. He smiles, and Kate gives him a more intense look. “I can never leave you.”

He can feel the relief bubbling in his chest, right until she twists his neck around, and the culebra shows herself. He fights back with everything he´s got, but he´s high and his head is clouded. When he comes back to himself, the only person who is there is Sonja. No Kate, not even a shadow of Kate turned into a snake. _Because she´s gone._ He reminds himself. _She´s gone because of me._

Sonja brings him out of it, and ends up tying him to the chair. Wants to get him clean, off the heroin, so she can get her money. But Kate has the money, because Seth gave it to her. _And she´s gone now, she is not coming back._ He sees a lot of things, as he starts to miss the fix, as he starts to get withdrawals, but what he keeps thinking about is Kate.

Why the hell had he just left her? It wasn´t the fact, that she´d known Rafa was a snake, and hadn´t bothered to mention it. He was pissed about that, but that wasn´t it. It had made sense in the moment, when she´d screamed at him to stop the car, to be so angry with her that he could barely think straight. But now it felt like that was someone else who´d made that decision, not Seth Gecko.

But the why didn´t matter, because it wasn´t going to get Kate back. _She´s gone,_ he repeated the words to himself again. Kate wasn´t going to waltz in the door in 5 minutes, because he had given her the car and the money, and absolutely no reason to come back. He wouldn´t like to admit to himself, how much that last part actually hurt.

-

_“Because he killed Kate.”_

Kate is dead. It´s the only fucking thing, Seth is able to think about, as he steps into his and Richie´s new office. They´re running a culebra business now, him and his brother, they probably have a lot of cash, but Seth can´t even focus on that. _Guess there really is a first time for everything._ Because Carlos had killed Kate, and neither Richie nor Scott had been able to save her. Part of him had at least considered the opportunity, that he could see Kate again, he could forget all about that now.

The office is fucking dark and gloomy, which fits Seth´s mood pretty well. Richie was probably right, they really would have to redecorate this place. Not that Seth cared all that much at the moment. _“You wanna go play in the darkness, little miss sunshine, you be my guest!”_ Kate was dead, and the last time, Seth had seen her, he´d been pissed at her. Fucking fuming. Now she was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. He glanced around the office, and tried to focus on something other than a dead girl. Something other than the dead girl, that made his throat tighten and his heart feel like it weighed at least a ton. Because Kate was dead, fucking dead, and he didn´t know what to do.

Seth wants to blame Richie for getting her in the crossfire; it would be easy to blame Richie. But it´s not just Richie´s fault, it´s his own fault too, it´s Scott´s fault, it´s especially the fucking shithead Carlos´ fault. So blaming Richie won´t work, and he knows it. Killing Carlos was not even going to bring Kate back, even if it had made Seth feel a little better for a little bit. They´re all to blame for this shit, they all got her killed, and he hates it. _Kate´s gone, Kate´s gone and she´s not coming back._

 _She´s gone._ He repeated to himself, as he tried not to think about the last time, he had seen Kate. Everything had gone so wrong that night. He would never see her again. He came to a halt and leant against Malvado´s old desk, supporting his weight on his arms. He let out a long shuddering breath, and stood there for a moment. _“Because he killed Kate.”_

 _She´s gone._ He told himself, and looked up from the desk, drawing in another deep breath. The phrase was practically a mantra, at this point. But this time there wasn´t even the possibility, she might show up again. No fucking chance. Not one in a million, nothing. _She´s gone._


End file.
